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Being a child of the 70s and the 80s, we not only had the best music ever, but we also regularly watched Chuck Norris movies in dimly-lit school halls to the rattling sound of a reel-to-reel projector and a single small speaker up front, operated by some overweight, chain-smoking, horn-rimmed glasses-wearing woman with a stinky hair-perm and a post-menopausal shriek. Ten cents that cost us! For this money, our guy Chuck was obliged to get himself into a fight with some ne'er-do-wells and win.

So much so, that Chuck Norris acquired cult status for his apparent invincibility, Christ-like infallibility, God-like omnipresence, and especially his gentlemanly serendipity where damsels in distress were concerned. Then there was his ginger mullet (a fashionable hairstyle back then - oy vey!), his downhill-Volkswagen-Beetle physiognomy, and his dreadful acting that cemented memories of him in our fertile little minds. We thought his movies were awesome!

Still, you can't be a celeb without being the butt of a few jokes, and a whole new formula of jokes was born around Chuck Norris. Here are some of the good ones:

• When Chuck Norris peels onions, only the onions cry.
• Chuck Norris was exposed to Covid-19. Covid-19 had to go into quarantine for a month.
• Chuck Norris didn't call the wrong number, you answered the wrong phone.
• Chuck Norris once wrestled a bear, an alligator, and a tiger all at once. He won by tying them together with an anaconda.
• There are no streets named after Chuck Norris because no one would ever cross Chuck Norris
• When Alexander Graham Bell first invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
• Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris doesn't pay taxes, taxes pay Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
• When day breaks, Chuck Norris fixes it.
• Chuck Norris once had an arm wrestling contest with superman. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside for the rest of his life.
• George Lucas couldn't cast Chuck Norris as Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars trilogy. If he did, it would be only 8 minutes long. 7 of those minutes are for the intros and credits.
• Chuck Norris never needs to flush the toilet. He just scares the crap out of it.
• The laws of physics always bend the rules for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris didn't get a Covid-19 vaccine. Covid-19 got a Chuck Norris vaccine.
• Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
• Chuck Norris is able to slam a revolving door.
• Chuck Norris knows exactly what to do with the drunken sailors early in the morning.
• Chuck Norris played a game of rock, paper scissors against his reflection, and won.
• The Swiss Army uses Chuck Norris Knives.
• Chuck Norris is able to start a fire using an extinguisher.
• Chuck Norris doesn't need to throw out the trash, it always throws itself out.
• Chuck Norris is able to recycle toxic waste.
• Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.
• When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get in shape.
• Chuck Norris is able to strangle people using a cordless phone.
• Chuck Norris is the reason that Wally is always hiding.
• When Chuck Norris falls from a great height, the ground has its life flash before its eyes.
• When Chuck Norris enters a building that is on fire, the Chuck Norris alarm rings.
• When Chuck Norris looked into the abyss, the abyss looked the other way.
• The Grand Canyon was formed when Chuck Norris was doing a triathlon. Chuck Norris was on the swimming leg.
• Bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw Chuck Norris walking in the mountains.
• The Loch Ness Monster claims to have seen Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris can drink a whole glass of beer. Yep, even the glass.
• Chuck Norris doesn't negotiate with terrorists. The terrorists negotiate with Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back.
• When Chuck goes bowling he doesn't just get every pin with a single bowl, he gets every pin in the bowling alley.
• The reason why people say it's pointless for Trump to build a wall is because Chuck Norris walks to Mexico and back once a month.
• Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories at the campfire.
• Burger King made their slogan "Have it your way" when Chuck Norris walked into their restaurant.
• Chuck Norris mines bitcoin with a pen and paper.
• When Chuck Norris goes to a restaurant, the waiter tips him.
• Tornados don't exist, Chuck Norris just really doesn't like trailer parks.
• Chuck Norris was born May 6th 1945. The Nazis surrendered May 7th 1945. This is not a coincidence.
• Chuck Norris has counted to infinity more than once.
• Chuck Norris has a bear rug on his lounge floor. The bear is still alive, it is just afraid to move.
• Chuck Norris doesn't go to the gym, instead, he goes shoplifting.
• If Chuck Norris were on The Titanic the iceberg would have dodged the ship.
• When Chuck Norris was a child at school, his teachers would raise their hands in order to talk to him.
• When Chuck Norris's parents had nightmares, they would come to his bedroom.
• When Chuck Norris crosses the road, vehicles look both ways.
• Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts are stimulated from touching his shoulders.
• Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 100 men, after that the grenade exploded.
• Chuck Norris was able to smell a gas leak before they added the scent to gas.
• Chuck Norris has a diary, it is called the Guinness Book Of World Records.
• Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat.
• Chuck Norris is able to sketch your portrait using an eraser.
• The dinosaurs once looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way, that is why we no longer have dinosaurs.
• When Chuck Norris wears a fanny pack, everyone else looks gay.
• Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with one bird.
• Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just called "The Islands".
• Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear a watch, he decides what time it is.
• When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
• Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
• Ozzy Osbourne once bit the head off a bat. In response, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman.
• Chuck Norris once took LSD just to give his hallucinations a bad trip.
• Chuck Norris hates ties. He prefers wins instead.
• Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
• Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
• Tornadoes are actually a result of Chuck Norris punching the wind.
• Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories at the campfire.
• When Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked the Universe into existence. They called it The Big Bang.
• Scientists say our Universe is constantly expanding. It’s actually running away from Chuck Norris.
• The Dead Sea was alive before Chuck Norris swam there.
• Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freeman’s life.
• Chuck Norris only goes to sleep to let the Earth rest.
• The seismic scale actually has a magnitude above 9, it’s called “the Chuck Norris’ Sneeze”.
• When Chuck Norris is in Rome, the Romans do as Chuck Norris does.
• After Chuck Norris hits the gym, it needs to shut down for repairs.
• When Chuck Norris can’t go to the gym, he goes shoplifting.
• Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was too close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind.
• Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
• The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.
• Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
• Chuck Norris thinks, therefore the World is.
• They wanted to put Chuck Norris on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t tough enough for his beard.
• Some kids pee their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.
• Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
• Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
• When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it actually affects the world economy.
• Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe air, he breathes fear.
• Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s secret.
• When Chuck Norris needs an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
• There has never been a hurricane named Chuck because it would have destroyed everything.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t turn the shower on. He just stares at it until it starts to cry.
• Chuck Norris eats bullets for breakfast. Better not be around when he burps.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned up the sun.
• Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard.
• Chuck Norris admitted to using stunt doubles in movies, but only for the crying parts.
• Chuck Norris does not need Twitter. He is already following you.
• Chuck Norris protects his guardian angel.
• When Chuck Norris pours milk on his Rice Crispies, they shut the hell up.
• Chuck Norris plays Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver and won.
• Chuck Norris keeps a diary. It is known as the Guinness Book of World Records.
• Chuck Norris does not turn the shower on, he just stares at the shower until it starts to cry.
• Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
• Superheroes read Chuck Norris comics.
• Cats wish they had Chuck Norris-like reflexes.
• The boogie man looks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris's reflection won't even look him in the eyes.
• Chuck Norris wears a hat to protect the sun.