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SQL Joke

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A SQL Query walks into a bar and goes up to two tables and asks: "Can I join you?"

Frikkie in Irak

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Frikkie is 'n huur soldaat en besluit om aan te sluit by die American marines in Irak. En een dag is hy afgesonder van die res en 3 Irakse soldate keer hom vas op 'n sand duin en hy besef hy sal moet 'n plan maak hier.

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The Cats' Bill of Rights

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1. Humans shall make no law respecting an establishment of boundaries or prohibiting the free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom of access, or the right to peaceful assembly.
In other words:
The cat is entitled to go outside any time s/he wants.

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Poland: I am here for the Beer

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Winter in Poland is cold - it is -20°C today and the rivers and lakes are frozen over. Hot food helps and was thus consumed. I hope I am wrong, but it appears to me that Polish cuisine consists of cabbage, cabbage, cabbage, potatoes and some meat. And large dill pickles. This is what lunch today suggested in any case: I had 3 different types of cabbage piled high onto my plate - red cabbage, cole-slow and sauerkraut - by a lovely little old lady in the local eatery who thought I lacked essential gasses.

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A horse walks into a bar joke #78

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of ale, The barkeeper says: "You're in here quite often, do think you might be an alcoholic?", "I don't think I am", said the horse, and then vanishes out of existence. 

You see, the joke is about Descartes' philosophy of "I think, therefore I am, I am, therefore I think", but to explain this before the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.

If a tree falls in a forest...

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Bishop Berkeley espoused the school of thought called Idealism, which went along the lines of: "To be, is to be perceived". One fyne day he dreamt the following conundrum up: "If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?" The implication is that if no one perceives the event, not only does the tree not make a sound, but the tree does not even exist.

This is, of course, a load of old rubbish. The good Bishop can't do me for defamation since he ceased being perceived in 1753. Had he lived in today's more cynical world, he may well have come up with more relevent thought-experiments to illustrate the philosophy of Idealism, thus:

 

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Greta Thunberg, ecological ballast

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AN OPEN LETTER TO GRETA THUNBERG

by Jason D. Hill, professor of philosophy at DePaul University in Chicago and a Shillman Journalism Fellow at the David Horowitz Freedom Center. His areas of specialization include ethics, social and political philosophy, American foreign policy and American politics. He is the author of several books, including “We Have Overcome: An Immigrant’s Letter to the American People” (Bombardier Books/Post Hill Press). 

You are not a moral leader. But I will tell you what you are. Greta Thunberg:

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Controlling the Bull in Software Development

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It's nearly 35 years now that I have been in the software production and integration business! As an IT consultant, I have witnessed the inner workings of many types of businesses that claim to have a working software development and integration division. I am still regularly surprised how some of the most venerable banks (actually, they are all scum) and public organizations accountable to tax-payers, hap-hazardly fail to deliver functional software in this day and age, when we already have so much cumulative experience to learn from. 

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Coding Rules

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A Collection of Coding Rules gathered over the years...

 

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