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Van se vrou wil weet: "Wat gaan jy vandag doen?" Van antwoord: "Fokol!" Sy sê: "Maar jy het gister ook fokol gedoen!", waarop Van sê: "Maar ek is nog nie klaar nie!"

 

Ou Van het laat gekuier die aand, staan die nag op, loop 'n draai en kom terug. Hy skud sy vrou wakker. 
"Wat is dit?" vra sy, deurmekaar en omgekrap.

Three surgeons discuss who makes the best patient to operate on. Says the first: "Electricians are the easiest to operate on, everything inside is colour-coded." The second surgeon says: "No, I think librarians are the easiest, since everything inside is in alphabetically order." The third surgeon shut them up when he said: "Lawyers are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, no brain, no spine. Plus, the head and butt are interchangeable!" 

A woman goes to the Doctor with bruises on her face. The Doctor asks: "What happened?" 

The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he slaps me around."

"I have a real good cure for that." says the Doctor:

Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel. Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign that read:

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors". 

1. Humans shall make no law respecting an establishment of boundaries or prohibiting the free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom of access, or the right to peaceful assembly.
In other words:
The cat is entitled to go outside any time s/he wants.

Winter in Poland is cold - it is -20°C today and the rivers and lakes are frozen over. Hot food helps and was thus consumed. I hope I am wrong, but it appears to me that Polish cuisine consists of cabbage, cabbage, cabbage, potatoes and some meat. And large dill pickles. This is what lunch today suggested in any case: I had 3 different types of cabbage piled high onto my plate - red cabbage, cole-slow and sauerkraut - by a lovely little old lady in the local eatery who thought I lacked essential gasses.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of ale, The barkeeper says: "You're in here quite often, do think you might be an alcoholic?", "I don't think I am", said the horse, and then vanishes out of existence. 

You see, the joke is about Descartes' philosophy of "I think, therefore I am, I am, therefore I think", but to explain this before the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.

Bishop Berkeley espoused the school of thought called Idealism, which went along the lines of: "To be, is to be perceived". One fyne day he dreamt the following conundrum up: "If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?" The implication is that if no one perceives the event, not only does the tree not make a sound, but the tree does not even exist.

This is, of course, a load of old rubbish. The good Bishop can't do me for defamation since he ceased being perceived in 1753. Had he lived in today's more cynical world, he may well have come up with more relevent thought-experiments to illustrate the philosophy of Idealism, thus:

 

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