The Lineage Revealed:

Are you at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt"?

Now, you can handle the situation:

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.  Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee*deep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 3 children: Holie Schitt and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt (a high school dropout). After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced.  Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her name.  She was known as Noe Schitt*Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son known as Chicken Schitt, and two daughters, Fulla and Giva. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood, and consequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.  The Schitt*Happens children are Dawg, Byrd, Horce and Bull.  Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.  He recently returned with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now, when someone says you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.