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A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.

Ah so, you vant to learn German, ja? First, ve start vis some vocabulary:

 

Asked by his teacher to compare three presidents Johnny thought for a moment and said: "Well, George Washington couldn't tell a lie. Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth. And George W. Bush can't tell the difference."

English
Chinese
 That's not right  Sum Ting Wong
 Are you harbouring a fugitive?  Hu Yu Hai Ding
 See me ASAP  Kum Hia Nao

A dangerous Virus is being passed electronically, orally and by hand

This virus is called Worm Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.