You know you're South African when...

You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's license when stopped by a traffic officer.
You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.
You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.

You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers
To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750
Hijacking cars is a profession
You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light
The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car
More people vote in a reality TV show than in an election
People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift and Given
'Now' can mean anything from a minute to a month
You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction
Travelling at 120 km/h, you're the slowest vehicle on the highway
You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it
The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday
You paint your car's registration on the roof
Half your mail is guaranteed to reach its destination
You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital
You dial a toll free number and nobody answers
You have to prove that you don't need a bank loan to get one
Prisoners go on strike