A SQL Query walks into a bar and goes up to two tables and asks: "Can I join you?"

Frikkie is 'n huur soldaat en besluit om aan te sluit by die American marines in Irak. En een dag is hy afgesonder van die res en 3 Irakse soldate keer hom vas op 'n sand duin en hy besef hy sal moet 'n plan maak hier.

A rapist, a paedophile and a Priest walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy.

Three surgeons discuss who makes the best patient to operate on. Says the first: "Electricians are the easiest to operate on, everything inside is colour-coded." The second surgeon says: "No, I think librarians are the easiest, since everything inside is in alphabetically order." The third surgeon shut them up when he said: "Lawyers are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, no brain, no spine. Plus, the head and butt are interchangeable!" 

Q: Why didn't Heisenberg have a good sex life?
A: Because when he had the time he didn't have the energy, and when he had the energy he didn't have the time.