Autumn 2011's cider is ready! Chrystal clear, effervescent like champagne, somewhat tart, necessarily a little alcoholic, and never sweet. The label reads:

Ye fyne vintage from the year of our Lorde 2011 on the day 1 October. Made from the fruite pilfer'd of ye olde Apple treese from yonder twee village of Balcombe, West Sussex

Rotted by Master Apple-Rotterer, Gerrit.

Guaranteed to crush scull, rot gut, loose memory, succumbe from ye olde gout. ASBO Knighthood optional.

And great on cornflakes for breakfast!