The Cats' Bill of Rights

1. Humans shall make no law respecting an establishment of boundaries or prohibiting the free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom of access, or the right to peaceful assembly.
In other words:
The cat is entitled to go outside any time s/he wants.


2. A well-carried provisional chamber, being necessary to the fulfilment of a feline's whims, shall not be infringed.
In other words:
The cat is entitled to EAT any time s/he wants.

3. The right of the feline to be secure in their domain, and effects, against unreasonable discomposure, shall not be violated.
In other words:
The cat is entitled to SLEEP any time s/he wants.

4. Humans shall issue no warrants or decrees or edicts as prescribed to the demarcation of possessions or property which are in direct conflict with right of life, liberty, and the pursuit of feline affirmation.
In other words:
The cat is entitled to sleep ANYWHERE s/he wants.

5. The feline shall be immune to all criminal accusations, indictments, and complaints. The accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and impartial dismissal of any and all charges provided said feline's compulsory right to obtain any or all witnesses, including character witnesses, are obtained in his favour.
In other words:
Cats can do anything they want as long as they're cute.

6. Neither serfdom, vassalage, or involuntary servitude will be tolerated, except by said cats in proprietorship of their humans.
In other words:
What I say goes.

7. No Canis familiaris shall, in time of peace or at any other time, be quartered in any dwelling without the consent of the potentate, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by sovereign.
In other words:
No dogs in the house without my permission.

8. The right of the feline to be protected against unreasonable search and seizures shall not be breached or infringed upon at any time or any place.
In other words:
Don't disturb me when I am sleeping in a drawer.