Crap Jokes

Family House-Rules

Laws when in the Lounge

Of the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight you may eat, but not in the living room.

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The Cats' Bill of Rights

1. Humans shall make no law respecting an establishment of boundaries or prohibiting the free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom of access, or the right to peaceful assembly.
In other words:
The cat is entitled to go outside any time s/he wants.

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Dead Wife Joke

A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.

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Learn German in Five Minutes

Ah so, you vant to learn German, ja? First, ve start vis some vocabulary:

 

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Learn Chinese in Five minutes

English
Chinese
 That's not right  Sum Ting Wong
 Are you harbouring a fugitive?  Hu Yu Hai Ding
 See me ASAP  Kum Hia Nao

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